


The Fall of Arthur Pendragon

by LarryLashton98



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: (can't believe I didn't tag that yet), Adorable Merlin, Arthur has a nightmare, Arthur is head over heels for Merlin, Caring Arthur, Female Merlin, Fluff, Genderbending, Hurt Merlin, Insecure merlin, Jealous Arthur, M/M, Merlin’s wish is Arthur’s command, Morgana and Gwen fussing over Merlin, Pretty Merlin, Protective Arthur, Sad Merlin, Shy Merlin, Sleepy Cuddles, angry arthur, genderbent merlin, gwaine is a flirt, hurt Arthur, poor baby, sad Arthur
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-08
Updated: 2018-04-11
Packaged: 2018-10-16 14:25:25
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 14,163
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10573143
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LarryLashton98/pseuds/LarryLashton98
Summary: Arthur has always felt, something for Merlin, but when something drastic happens during a banquet one day, Arthur is finding it increasingly more difficult to keep it hidden.Or, the one where Merlin gets turned into girl in front of the kingdom in court.





	1. Merlin’s A Girl?

Arthur is sitting at the head table, completely bored with tonight’s banquet despite it starting no more than an hour ago. He looked around, scanning the room for one face in particular. There. Merlin was leaning against the wall talking to Gwen, standing near a group of servants.

Arthur stared at Merlin until the other lad finally looked over, and raised his glass for more wine. If he had to suffer through the night with his father, Morgana, the knights, and a bunch of people he didn’t know when he much prefers the comfort of reading his book up in his room, well, he certainly didn’t have to do it sober.

Merlin had wormed his way through the crowd and grabbed the pitcher of wine from the table against the wall behind Arthur’s table. He stepped up to Arthur and poured some of the drink into his goblet.

“That enough for now?” Merlin asked as he placed the pitcher on the table.

Arthur looked in his cup at the amount. “Hmm, I suppose. For now.”

“Good, because that was all that was left in this one.”

Arthur grinned. “You probably should speak to me with more respect when there are other people around, Merlin. Especially my father.”

“Hmm, I suppose. For now” Merlin grinned cheekily.

Arthur raised an eyebrow.

“Sire,” Merlin added as if it were an afterthought.

Arthur laughed.

Arthur went to say something to Merlin when the words died in his throat. He thought he heard a faint rumbling noise. It sounded like… thunder? Arthur looked out the window nearest to him and saw dark clouds where there had once been a clear sky coloured vibrantly from the sunset.

All of a sudden there was a loud thwumping noise, and the great hall went silent. Arthur looked down to the crowd, to see them parting around one person.

The man standing in the center was standing in a cloud of smoke, just like in your typical fairytale, and looked to be around 20 with dark hair and green eyes. No, wait, 30 with black hair and blue eyes. Now a teenager with dirty blond and grey eyes? Well, whoever he was, he must be a sorcerer, because who else could poof into a room and not have any set appearances?

Alarmed, Uther stood quickly beside Arthur. “Sorcerer. What are you doing here? I’m sure you are well aware that magic is outlawed here, and anyone found practicing such is sentenced to death. Do you have a death wish? Guards, arrest this man.”

Before any of them could move, the man shouted a bunch of words Arthur didn’t understand, a spell then, and thrust his hand in Merlin’s direction. Merlin? What could he want with Merlin?

Merlin was flung back as if he were thrown and crashed into the table holding the refills of refreshments against the wall, food, wine, and water falling down onto him. Arthur quickly rose and rushed to help Merlin up when he started flailing around, to untangle himself from the tablecloth and stood up, throwing it to the ground. Arthur froze and stared at Merlin. Merlin glanced down at himself and yelped when he saw what he was wearing. He looked up towards the sorcerer to see him run out of the room.

“Hey!” Merlin yelled at the sorcerer in a higher voice than usual as he took off after him. “Come back here you little-”

Arthur was still frozen as his eyes never left Merlin, following him as he ran across the room, and broke contact only when Merlin was out the door and around the corner.

It was only when Merlin was out of sight could Arthur move his feet, racing after Merlin out into the hallway and down the corridor in the direction he saw Merlin take. He skidded around down the hall and around a corner where he found Merlin at the other end. Arthur jogged to a stop as he approached Merlin who was pacing around, looking out into the courtyard, up one set of stairs and looking down the other.

“I lost him,” Merlin mumbled quietly. “Dammit, I lost him!” He said again, louder.

“Well, I don’t know about you, but I think that’s a good thing right now. What were you planning on doing anyway? You can’t put up a good fight in training, what on earth made you think that you could take on a sorcerer?” Arthur asked incredulously.

Merlin harrumphed.

“I don’t know. I would have thought of something.” He said tiredly, as he flopped down on the stairs near where they were standing, and for the first time, Arthur got a good look at him.

The sorcerer turned Merlin into a girl. Arthur could hardly believe his eyes. Merlin’s dark ebony curly hair which was a bit on the long side before was even longer now, coming down past his collarbones in a soft curtain, curls more prominent, if that was even possible, and were forming loose ringlets. His blue eyes, which have always been the brightest blue Arthur ever saw in someone’s eyes, were a brighter, fuller blue, and a bit rounder, too, with long lashes, but still so very Merlin. His nose looked small and delicate on his face, and his lips were plump and red and looked so soft. Merlin’s face was rounder, less angular, but his cheekbones were still noticeable, but less so than normal. His skin which had seemed pale before was more porcelain, and delicate. Fragile, even. Merlin had always been lanky and skinny, now was still small, but curvy; shoulders less broad, breasts a nice, round size, small waist, and hips that swelled out perfectly. Merlin was… Merlin was beautiful.

Merlin put his (her?) elbows on his knees and buried his face in his hands. His curls fell down in front of his face.

Arthur kneeled down so that he was at eye level with Merlin. “Hey, it’s okay,” Arthur said quietly. “We’ll find the sorcerer and have him pay for his actions.”

Merlin’s head shot up. “But what if he refuses to turn me back? I don’t want to stay a girl.” His eyes starting to swell with tears. “I just wanna turn back, be me again.” Merlin looked down as he angrily brushed his tears away.

“Hey, Merlin, look at me.” Arthur put a finger under Merlin’s chin, raising his head to meet his eyes. “It will be okay. You are still you, just slightly different.”

“Slightly different?” Merlin whispered angrily, eyes wide. “Arthur, I’m a girl! I have long hair, breasts, and am wearing a dress, in case you haven’t noticed. It’s weird. I don’t like it.” His voice was quiet and tired by the time he finished speaking.

“Yes, I see that, thank you, Merlin. And we will get you back to your usual awkward self soon enough.” Arthur cupped Merlin’s face and wiped away the tear streaking it’s way down his cheek with his thumb. “Don’t worry about it. I’ll take care of it. Trust me.”

Merlin nodded. “Of course, yes. Of course, I trust you.” She gave a watery smile, and again Arthur was struck with just how pretty Merlin was.

Arthur stood, and held his hands out for Merlin to take. “Well, come on, then. We have a sorcerer to find.”

Merlin looked up at him for a moment before reaching up and grabbing hold of the hands offered out to him. Merlin’s hands were small and delicate, much like Morgana’s and Gwen’s, fingers long and elegant. As Arthur’s thumb brushed lightly over the back of Merlin’s hands he noticed how soft they were, as soft as the finest silks.

When Merlin was standing Arthur saw that Merlin was now shorter than him. He usually was an inch taller than Arthur, which bothered him to no end, but he didn’t dare tell Merlin that. When Merlin got transformed into a girl, not only was he curvier, but also a bit shorter, too, leaving Arthur few inches taller. Arthur grinned and straightened up.

Merlin didn’t see that, thank goodness, and looked around at the knights and guards running around trying to find the sorcerer who did this to him.

“What if you don’t find him?” Merlin asked, turning up to face to meet Arthur’s eyes. Arthur saw an emotion flash across his face before Arthur could identify what it. Was it a look of annoyance, perhaps? Or possibly surprise. Arthur suspected it was because he wasn’t used to looking up at him. Arthur realized that he hadn’t answered his question.

“I will.”

“But he just poofed into the middle of the room, who’s to say that he won’t poof right out of Camelot again? Or hasn’t already?” Merlin was starting to look worried.

“Don’t worry, I promise I will find him, and we will turn you back. I promise.” Arthur said in the most soothing voice he could, hoping that it would help calm Merlin down.

Merlin stared at him for a second before letting out a breath and nodding. “Okay.”

Arthur turned and made his way down the hallway towards the court, and no doubt where his father was waiting. Just as they were approaching the door, Merlin’s hands grabbed Arthur’s arm and tugged, stopping him before he could enter.

Arthur turned to see Merlin biting his bottom lips as he thought. “Arthur,” he said slowly, eyes falling to the floor. “I, you know. I don’t really want everyone to see me like this. They’ll laugh at me.”

“Hey,” Arthur cupped his hands around Merlin’s face and lifted it to make eye contact. “I promise, no one will laugh at you. If anyone does, they’ll have to see to me.” Arthur had a sudden urge to kiss Merlin on the tip of her upturned nose.

When he realized this he straightened up immediately, and promptly walked into the court, giving Merlin no choice but to follow. It was a bit inconsiderate, considering what Merlin just confessed, but if he hadn’t walked away right then, Arthur’s not sure if he could’ve held back from kissing Merlin.

Uther turned when Arthur entered. Most of the guests had left the room by the time Arthur and Merlin got back, leaving a few servants who were cleaning up after the dinner, Morgana, Gwen, and a few knights.

“Ah, Arthur. Have you found the sorcerer? We must find him at once. Magic is prohibited in Camelot, and to use it in an attack in the middle of a banquet. He must be caught.” Uther asked.

“Not yet, father, but the knights are still looking. We will find him.” Arthur replied respectfully.

Uther nodded and then turned to address the young man, eh, woman.

“And how are you fairing, Merlin?”

“Fine, Sire,” Merlin answered, her head still downturned, curls hiding her face, which Arthur presumed was red from blushing, by the tone of her voice.

Uther nodded, accepting the answer. “Good. We will send word when the sorcerer is caught.”

Merlin nodded.

Arthur could tell that he wanted out of the room and away from being the center of attention, so he put a hand on Merlin’s shoulder, and led him away from the prying eyes of Morgana, Gwen, and the knights.

They reached Gaius’ chambers after a few minutes of silence. Arthur opened the door, and Merlin walked in and across the room to her door.

She paused just before entering, looking over her shoulder. “Thank you, Arthur.”

“You’re welcome,” Arthur said with a soft smile, and Merlin walked into her room and closed the door.

By that time, it was getting late, so Arthur decided to retire to his own chambers. When he was finally in bed, he thought over what had happened. Merlin was a girl, and a very pretty one, at that. Her beauty rivalled the likes of Morgana, who has always been one of the most beautiful women Arthur had ever met.

Arthur knew that he has always harboured feelings for Merlin, but he has always kept them hidden and locked away where no one would find out about them. Now? It looked like there was a change in plan, because if Merlin remained very much female, well, there’s no way Arthur can keep his love for Merlin unknown. She was going to be the death of him. Arthur’s eyes slipped shut as he started to drift off, wondering what the next day would bring and what could happen if they didn’t find the sorcerer, leaving Merlin a girl for a long while to come.


	2. Remembering In The Morning

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 2 is finally here! It took longer than expected, but oh well. Hope it's worth the wait

The next morning Arthur woke up to see the sun shining through his window, casting a warm light throughout his room. He blinked lazily, still mostly asleep. It was awfully quiet this morning and it took Arthur a few moments before he realized what was missing.

“Merlin?” He called out for his manservant, hoping that Merlin was in earshot and would come to do his usual chores.

When he got no answer Arthur rolled his eyes, climbing out of the warmth of his bed. “You better not be running late again,” he spoke louder, expecting Merlin to walk through his doors any minute. After the silence continued on he started getting irritated. Where was that boy? Then Arthur remembered.

Merlin wasn’t a boy. Not anymore. No, Merlin was a girl.

Arthur remembered the way her curls softly grazed her collarbones and her soft, timid smile as she bid him goodnight after Arthur escorted her to her chambers.

Without taking time to think about any other duties he might have for today, he dressed and left to go seek out Merlin in his chamber on the other side of the castle.

When he arrived, Arthur raised his hand and knocked politely on the door, which swung open a few moments later to reveal Gaius’ face.

“Ah, Sire.” Gaius bowed respectfully and stepped back, making room for Arthur to walk past. “I was expecting you to drop by today. I take it that you’re here to see Merlin?”

“Yes, where is he, eh, she? Is she alright? Is there any chance that the spell has worn off? There are no side effects, are there? Nothing made her ill?” Arthur asked quickly. He couldn’t help that he was worried.

Gaius chuckled lightly, “Merlin’s is alright. Still a girl, but alright. I’m afraid that she’s hiding in her room right now, won’t even come out for breakfast.” He turned to the door behind which Merlin was hiding and called out, “Merlin, Arthur is here to see you.”

Merlin only let out a muffled noise of protest.

Arthur looked at Gaius and tilted his head to Merlin’s door, silently asking permission to speak to Merlin. After getting a nod, Arthur walked up the three stairs, stopping at the top.

“Merlin,” Arthur spoke softly. “It’s alright, it’s just me. Why don’t you come out of there?”

“I don’t want to come out.”

“Merlin,”

“No.” Arthur could picture Merlin sitting on the floor, his back pressed against the door so that it couldn’t be opened, arms crossed and pouting like a child. Arthur grinned at that thought. In fact, he found it rather endearing.

“So, what? Are you planning on staying in there until the sorcerer turns you back?”

“If that’s what it takes, yes.”

“At least get something to eat “ Arthur begged. When that got no response, he spoke again, quieter. “Please?”

Arthur heard a sigh of defeat through the door and after a few seconds, the door opened a crack. He took that as an invitation to enter, so he pushed the door open the rest of the way and entered Merlin’s room.

Merlin was sitting on her bed, back to Arthur, looking out the window. Arthur walked over and sat down on the bed next to her.

Merlin let out a sigh before she spoke. “I just, I don’t want everyone to see me like this.” She looked down at her hands which were clasped together in her lap.

Arthur reached up a brushed her hair behind her ear so that he could see her face better, and marvelled for a second at how soft her hair was. “It’s okay, you’ll see. Everything is alright.”

“But it’s not alright! I hate it. I hate that I’m, I’m this, that I look like this. Everyone is going to think that I look ridiculous, and laugh. Gwaine especially. He’s always liked to poke fun at me and tease me, but with something like this? I can see the amusement on his face already. He’s going to find it hilarious, just like everyone else.”

“Hey, now. Where’s the Merlin I know that doesn’t care what other people think, hmm? You wore that ridiculous hat to the banquet, even though no one else was dressed like that.”

Merlin sputtered, finally looking at him. “You made me wear that stupid hat! I never wanted to!”

Arthur grinned, yeah he did. “You still wore it. Sure, you complained the whole time, but that was because it was uncomfortable, not because you were worried about of any looks that you would get from people.”

Merlin just stared at him, then looked away, crossing her arms and pinching her lips shut, and Arthur knew that she knew that he was right.

“Besides, no one is going to laugh at you.”

“Yes, they will.” She stated stubbornly.

“No. No, they won’t.” Arthur said firmly.

Merlin looked back at him with a hesitant, almost scared look in her eyes. Arthur really hoped that she wasn’t scared of him, he didn’t know what he would do if she was. But he also didn’t want her scared of his father, Morgana, Gwen, the knights, and the other common folks of Camelot. “How can you know?” She asked in a quiet voice.

“Trust me. Please.” Arthur wondered if Merlin has looked in a mirror at all since getting turned into a girl. She was clearly very beautiful, so Arthur had no idea why she would’ve thought that people would laugh at her for looking the way she did.

Arthur stood and walked to the door. “Come on then, let’s get some food, I’m hungry. Someone forgot to bring me my breakfast this morning.” Arthur said in a teasing voice, looking back at Merlin who was still sitting on her bed.

As Arthur was going through the doorway, he heard Merlin mutter prat under her breath. He grinned and let it slide.

In a more hesitant voice, Merlin asked: “Are you sure you still want me as your, um, personal servant?”

Arthur sat at Gaius’ table. “Of course. Why wouldn’t I?”

Merlin looked down as she played with the hem of her shirt. “Just that I’m, you know, um, female? I wasn’t sure if you’d still want me, or if you’d, you know, prefer an actual male, in an actual male body. I completely understand if you, um, if you would be more comfortable with someone else.”

Merlin looked entirely unsure of herself, and while it was sort of cute, watching her stutter through her words, Arthur did miss the way Merlin used to banter with Arthur and seem so confident in himself with everything that he did.

“Merlin, I want you to listen to me, and I want you to listen carefully.” Merlin nodded. “There is no one else I’d rather have as my personal servant. Man or woman, you are the one I want by my side. I want you with the way you ramble on and are clumsy. I want you with your terrible jokes and the way you argue with me. I want you, okay? I don’t want some servant who calls me ‘Sire’ all the time and will treat me like the Crowned Prince rather than a person, and more importantly, like a friend. Remember that servant, Cedric? Awful, wasn’t he?”

Merlin wiped away her tears and nodded. “Total suck up.”

“Without a doubt, the worst servant I’ve ever had.”

“I called you a clotpole.” She chuckled as she remembered that day.

“Yes, I still don’t know just what exactly that means.” Arthur continued on, hoping that if he kept her distracted from her current predicament, it would hopefully help Merlin get somewhat back to her normal self. Well, as ‘normal’ as she could considering the situation.

Gaius stepped up to the table right then. “Sorry to interrupt, but I have some food here.” He said, placing down three bowls, then he turned to address Arthur directly. “It is just some porridge, so perhaps you may want to send a servant to get some food more suitable to your usual breakfasts? Not Merlin, of course.”

“Oh, no. This will be fine, thank you. I will allow Merlin some time off today, while the knights and myself are searching for the sorcerer. That is if he hasn’t been found already.” Arthur sent a smile at Merlin, who returned a thankful one back.

When he finished eating, Arthur rose from the table. “Thank you, Gaius, the porridge was good, warm and not too sweet.” Then he turned to Merlin. “I’ll be heading out to search for the sorcerer with the knights today, and I won’t stop until he is found. I want you to take care of yourself today, I know that this can be a bit stressful. Not speaking from experience, of course, but I just meant that, well, I’m sure you know what I mean. You usually do. Anyways, if this does continue on for much longer, I will be needing you again, so don’t expect too much time off. I’m sure you remember what happened last time when you left me for too long.” Merlin laughed, a pretty sound, and Arthur longed to hear it again, as he made up his mind to try to make her laugh as often as he could.

He looked at Merlin sitting there, eyes sparkling with amusement but still soft from sleep, hair tangled from sleep but still so curly, practically swimming in some of her old clothes that looked too big, pants and a shirt that didn’t fit right. Briefly, Arthur wondered what she would look like in his clothes. She would look good in his red shirt. He knew without a doubt that he would not be able to get that picture out of his head for at least a few days. “Perhaps you could go see Morgana, she might have something more comfortable to wear.” Arthur turned to leave but stopped before he went more than three steps. “Oh, please take care of yourself.” Merlin grinned and nodded, and with that, Arthur walked out into the hall to go join his knights, missing the knowing smirk Gaius sent Merlin’s way.

It felt rather domestic, bidding Merlin farewell as he left for the day, and Arthur smiled to himself, enjoying the feeling. If he could come back to Merlin every day that would be Arthur’s dream. Quite literally, as Arthur did have a dream last night, where he was the king and Merlin was sitting beside him as his queen. She often laughed and teased him, much like the way she usually did, calling him a prat, clotpole, dollophead, and a bunch of other words Arthur didn’t know or remember. He hadn’t minded, as every time they lovingly called each other a strange name or idiot, it was their own way of saying “I love you”. They had kissed and held each other close as they lay together in their bed. He could remember the way her lips felt, warm and soft, pressed against his. He had held her so close through the night, feeling her heartbeat in her chest. If only.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, if you liked it please give a kudos or comment, please!
> 
> If you have anything that you liked/disliked let me know so I can add more or less in future chapters. Also, if there is ANYTHING that you want to be included in the story at all, let me know! If it's simple like 'I want A/M to hug' or vague like 'I would like to see Gwaine flirt, and Arthur get protective' (like some of you have stated last chapter). Remember, I can't add it if you don't tell me, so please, please, please comment!
> 
> Thank you so much for reading what I have so far, I hope you continue to enjoy my story. <3


	3. Playing Dress Up With Melin

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I AM SO SO SO SORRY THAT IT TOOK SO LONG TO GET THIS CHAPTER UP!!!!
> 
> First, it was uni exams (they're a killer), and then getting settled back at home, and applying for jobs.
> 
> I am sorry for the wait.
> 
> So, to (hopefully) make up for it, here's a longer chapter than the previous two. :)

Arthur found Leon in the throne room where the banquet that Merlin turned into a girl at had taken place in.

“Leon! Have you found the sorcerer yet?”

“Not yet, Sire. We’ve scoured the houses in the kingdom, and are moving down into the lower towns starting on the south side, and are making our way around the castle before we expand further outwards.”

Arthur nodded. “Well done, Leon.”  Leon had always been one of the knights Arthur knew he could always count on to be initiative and help Arthur without him needing to ask for it. He was glad that Leon was here to help him look for the sorcerer and not off on some mission that Uther could've sent him on.

“Thank you, Sire.” Leon bowed his head. “I was just in here giving the progress report before going back out. I'm assuming that you are coming along?” He asked, already knowing the answer. Arthur nodded.

As they were heading out Arthur asked how many progress reports Leon has giving Uther so far.

“This was the fourth one. Uther requested that I report back to him after every town we search.”

“I know you that you probably don't find it necessary, but my father is desperate to find the sorcerer. This one in particular because it’s personal, how he performed an act of magic in Camelot purposefully in front of him. He will not allow anyone to get away with disrespecting him like that.”

“I understand why, it is just a lot of running back and forth on my part.”

“True, but Merlin will appreciate all that you and the others are doing for her.”

Leon smiled. “I know, but I feel like I could be more helpful to, uh, her if I spent this time searching with the knights, rather than reporting every move we do.”

“I know what you mean.”

They walked the rest of the way in silence, but Arthur didn’t mind. He enjoyed Leon’s company, as more times than not, Leon has been a friend to Arthur who treated him as such. Much like the way Merlin does, although Merlin pretty much dismisses the fact that Arthur is the Crowned Prince and Leon doesn’t do that to that extent.

Arthur and the knights spent most of the day searching for the sorcerer, getting almost halfway around the castle by lunchtime. Arthur wants to keep looking, but he also wants to go check up on Merlin. The other knights must have seen it on his face because they pushed him in the direction of the castle, telling him to ‘just go’ and ‘we've got it covered’.

Arthur first stopped off at Gaius’ chambers only to find no one there. He called out and went to go leave when he didn’t get a response. On his way out of the door, Arthur bumped into Gaius, who was just entering.

“Sire. If you are here for Merlin, you won’t find her here. Morgana and Gwen came in here about an hour ago, dragging her off, claiming that they ‘needed to fix her up’, ‘get her in real girl clothes’ and ‘that they needed to let the girl in her shine’ or something along those lines.” Gaius said with an amused smirk on his face.

“Ahh, I see.” Arthur could only imagine what kind of torture those two were putting his Merlin through. He knew that nothing could get in their way when they set their minds to something. Arthur understood the part about the clothes, figuring they would be more comfortable if they were meant for her body, but fixing her up? Merlin was beautiful the way she was. Arthur had no idea how they could possibly ‘fix her up’.

Arthur sighed and thanked Gaius before stepping around him to head on over to Morgana’s chambers.

When he got there, Arthur stopped just inside the door and watched the scene in front of him.

Morgana and Gwen were holding multiple dresses and were discussing the different colours and materials that made absolutely no sense to Arthur. They were in the middle of ‘this dress is better because the colour will go best with her’ when Merlin called out from behind the changing curtain.

“I’m sure whichever colour you choose will look just fine. Besides, it doesn’t really matter, anyways.”

The girls immediately stopped talking and were silent for a second, just looking at each other.

“Doesn’t matter?” Morgana asked incredulously. “Of course it does. If you want to look your best, then you have to-”

Merlin cut her off, quickly saying “I’d rather look decent with any clothes actually on than catch a cold from not wearing any because you two were taking too long to choose which dress was prettier.”

Gwen giggled while Morgana huffed and rolled her eyes.

“Oh alright. Here, put this one on. The blue will make your eyes stand out.”

Merlin started complaining but took the dress anyways.

“Make my eyes stand out? What does that even mean? It's just a dress, I don't see how it can do much with my eyes.”

“Oh do shut up Merlin. Just trust us, we know what we're doing.”

“Trust you? Ha! You two are evil when you work together, especially when you're so-called ‘helping’. I shall have you know that your help isn't always very helpful or wanted”

“I suppose it does seem that way, but that's beside the point. You still have to put that on, right now, or so help me, I will come back there and put it on for you.”

“Oh no, you are most certainly not!”

Morgana rolled her eyes. “Just get dressed.”

Arthur grinned. He wasn't surprised. Merlin was one of the few who speaks to Morgana like that without getting her wrath full force upon them. It was one of the things that Arthur liked about Merlin. She could, would speak her mind without fearing the consequences, thus not getting in too much trouble. It was one of the more endearing qualities about her. Most people Arthur met have enjoyed Merlin's presence.

Merlin stepped out from behind the dressing curtain, dress on, but was holding it to her chest.

“I can't do it up properly. It's kind of loose here.” Merlin tugged on the neckline, showing that it was a bit too big.

Morgana looked over. “Really? I hadn't suspected that you were smaller than me by that much. No need to worry about it, though. Gwen will help you.”

Gwen stepped up behind Merlin and grabbed the strings that laced up the bodice of the dress. She tugged on them, tightening the dress around Merlin’s chest, and Arthur could hear Merlin’s sharp intake of breath.

“Oh, that feels weird.”

Morgana looked up from going through her stuff. “You'll get used to it.”

“I hope not” Merlin muttered.

“There we go, all done,” Gwen said, patting Merlin on the shoulder before pushing her over to Morgana's vanity table.

Arthur remembered all the times that Morgana used to sit him at that dreaded table when they were kids and put a bunch of stuff on his face that made him sneeze. She used to do twists and ponytails, ‘practicing’ she called it, that hurt his head as she yanked and tugged his hair. Arthur was hoping that now that she was older, she wouldn't be so rough with Merlin, as this whole situation was new to her.

“Let's get started. Okay, so we will begin with your hair and then go on and do your makeup.” Morgana picked up her hairbrush and started pulling it through Merlin’s hair.

Right, so Morgana is giving Merlin a full makeover; clothes, hair, and face. Arthur had been grateful that Morgana never stuck him in one of her dresses, but it seems like Merlin wasn't getting such luck.

Merlin spotted Arthur leaning against the doorframe through the mirror and her eyes met Arthur’s in the mirror. They widened quickly as she stared at him for a half second before she whirled around to look at him properly.

“Help me, please.” Merlin practically begged.

Morgana glared at Arthur as if daring him to try to stop her.

Arthur laughed and walked over. “You said yourself that once they set their minds to something, you can't stop them. Besides, I'm interested in seeing where this goes.”

Morgana grinned evilly while Merlin let out an adorable noise of protest that sounded suspiciously like a whine and turned her back to Arthur and angrily sat back in the chair with a huff and crossed her arms over her chest.

Arthur chuckled and walked around Merlin to sit on the chair next to the table and mirror by the wall so that he was facing her.

Her face was down and a scowly sulk, with a pout that Arthur thought was so cute. Her bottom lip was sticking out making it look more plump than usual, with a sad expression Arthur just wanted to kiss off her face.

Morgana started to pull the hairbrush through Merlin's hair again, forcing her head up towards the mirror, rather than downcast to her lap, where it had been.

“Ow,” Merlin muttered, as if knowing that it would stop Morgana, but wanting to get across that she didn't like it at the same time.

“Oh, hush. You'll be fine.”

Merlin looked Arthur in the eyes.

“You're the prince!” She said accusingly. “Can't you do something? Make her stop?”

Arthur laughed.

“Yes, I am the prince. I'm glad you finally noticed.”

Merlin's jaw dropped.

“Why, you little-”

“Ah, ah, ah.” Arthur cut her off. “As you have pointed out, I am the prince.”

She rolled her eyes.

“More like a royal prat.”

Merlin and Arthur started bickering, only stopping when Morgana shouted out triumphantly.

“There!”

Merlin and Arthur fell silent.

“What?” Merlin asked, suspicion laced in her voice.

Morgana grinned evilly.

“We're done your hair. You were too distracted to pay attention; making easier for me, and therefore you. Thank you, Arthur. I supposed you can be useful for something.”

Gwen stifled a laugh.

“Oh, thank goodness. I'm free!” Merlin cried, going to stand up, but Gwen pushed her back into the chair.

“Not so fast. There's still your makeup to do.”

“There's more?” Merlin asked incredulously.

The two girls started turning Merlin's head this way and that, covering her face with pencils, and powders that have Arthur confused.

Some of said powder ends up on Merlin's lips while she's talking to him, leaving her sputtering in the middle of her sentence.

She scrunches up her face in such an adorable way at that, no longer trusting the other girls. Well, no more than usual.

Merlin brushes it off, however, and continues to talk to Arthur as if nothing happened.

Gwen interrupts a bit while later, telling Merlin to stop talking.

“Why?” Merlin looks confused.

“We're doing your lips now.”

“My lips? Wh-huu! Whaf ‘ou ‘oin’?” Merlin's words come out in a way that Arthur can hardly understand.

Gwen had grabbed her chin and pressed her fingers into her cheeks, parting her jaw and inevitably, her lips too.

“Shh, it's fine.”

Merlin's cheeks are squished and Arthur can't help but laugh. He'd never seen Gwen act so controlling before, nor has he seen Merlin's face pressed in like that before, and he found it very amusing.

“Now we're done,” Morgana said with a chuckle. “I don't think I would have been able to keep her here much longer anyway.”

“Finally!” Merlin jumped up started to race to the door.

“Wait!” Gwen cried anxiously.

Merlin groaned.

“Now what?” She whined, turning back around. “C’mon, I'm hungry.”

“Don't you want to see what you look like?” Gwen asked with a hopeful look on her face.

“Nope!” Merlin said cheerily and started to turn again.

“Oh, come on. After, all we did for you, you can at least look, even if you don't say thank you.” Morgana said in a condensing way, probably to guilt Merlin into looking.

Merlin huffed. It worked.

“Fine.”

She walked back over to the mirror.

Arthur studied her face while she studied her own. Her curly hair was neat and piled up on the top of her head nicely with a few ringlets hanging down around her face. Her eyes had different shades of the colour blue on the lids and a black line by the lashes, making her eyes seem bigger than they already were. Her cheeks had a tint of pink, and her lips were full and so, so red.

Arthur couldn't take his eyes off her. She was so beautiful. She looked like a princess and given the fact that one dressed her up, he wasn't surprised.

Arthur thought that the new look defiantly suited her when he was struck by a sudden realization.

If Merlin remained a girl… could he possibly be able to marry her one day? She wasn't a princess, though she looked like one, perhaps when Arthur was king he could change the rules some.

Arthur's heart was beating widely in his chest and he could feel his palms getting sweaty.

“Whoa…” Merlin said breathlessly, more like an exhale of breath so quiet that Arthur wouldn't have been able to hear it, had he been just a few steps further from her.

Arthur snapped out of his trance and cleared his throat, which suddenly seemed dry.

“So, uh, you said you were hungry?”

Merlin's gaze looked his way and his heart skipped a beat.

Then she laughed.

“Yeah, let's go,” turning and heading out the door.

As Arthur was heading out, Morgana caught his gaze and he saw that she was smirking.

Smirking as if she knew something.

Smirking as if she knew- no. She couldn't. There was no way she could know.

Merlin's head poked in the doorway.

“Are you coming?”

“Yes,”  Arthur said walking towards her. “Let's go.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed this chapter, and once again, PLEASE comment to let me know what you think, or what you want to see in future chapters!


	4. Arthur Is An Emotional Mess

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long wait! I kinda forgot about this fanfic, as I've been working on others, as some of you may have noticed. So, as an apology, here's another chapter and it's the longest one yet!
> 
> (I stayed up to 1:30am to finish it and get it up, you're welcome)

Merlin was skipping down the hall when Arthur caught up with her.

“What’s got you in such a good mood? You were just groaning and complaining back there!”

Merlin just grinned over her shoulder at him and giggled and Arthur felt his cheeks heat up. She was so adorable.

Arthur tried to calm down the rapid beat of his heart and get his natural colour back before Merlin noticed. Arthur had no doubt that Merlin would tease him for days about it, even if she didn’t know what he was blushing about. He could already hear what she’d say. _Look at you, Arthur. I thought princes were supposed to be levelheaded, not some tomato head, yet here you are, getting all flustered, and over what?_ She would certainly try to find out the reason why, but what could Arthur say? _You are so cute when you skip like that_? _Your laugh is the most beautiful sound I’ve ever hear and I love how it makes my tummy flutter_? There was no way Arthur would actually say any of that out loud, of course. _When you smile at me I just want to pull you close, so close, and kiss those soft lips of yours_? That last thought jarred Arthur out of his stupor.

Yes, Arthur had thought about kissing Merlin before, not just after she was turned into a, well, she, but it was always in the privacy of his room and never when Merlin was so close to him. If Arthur wanted, he could reach out and take her hand in his. Arthur very much wanted to, but the rational side of Arthur’s brain knew it would be a bad idea. Just because Merlin was a girl now, it was highly unlikely that Merlin would be feeling everything a girl would. There is no possible way Merlin would suddenly start liking boys just because she was now the opposite gender. Merlin’s mind was the same as it was before, and Arthur would respect that.

It truly baffled Arthur, how and why Merlin’s attitude turned around so quickly. He understood that she was hungry and was looking forward to eating, but to be so excited to be skipping down the hallway of the castle… Arthur knew that he wouldn’t ever understand, so he just brushed it aside and contently watch Merlin be all cute and happy. Arthur could feel a fond smile spreading across his face, but made no move to hide it.

They were nearing the courtroom where Arthur typically eats with his father to discuss plans and issues when a guard was suddenly in front of Arthur.

“Sire,” he bowed. “I was just on the way to update the King on the progress of the search for the sorcerer.”

“Yes, and how is it going?” Arthur asked, suddenly interested. He had momentarily forgotten about the sorcerer as he stood there watching Merlin getting pampered over. He should head back out to help look after lunch. Unless, of course, they found him. Arthur didn’t think so, considering the guard was acting like it was just another check in, which it probably was.

“Nothing yet, Sire. We’ve been asking the townspeople about anyone recently coming into shops, inns, anyone who looks suspicious, those kinds of things. The king requested that a bounty is put on the sorcerer's head. A reward of sorts, for whoever turns him in.”

“I understand the concept of a bounty,” Arthur said with a chuckle. “Very well, thank you, you may go on to report to my father.”

The guard bowed again and Arthur turned to continue on to lunch. He didn’t get more than two steps before he noticed that something was missing. Or, rather, _someone_. Merlin was nowhere in sight.

Arthur walked around the corner and felt his heart stop as he saw Merlin standing against the wall with Gwaine leaning against the wall over her.

Gwaine was smiling sweetly and tugged lightly on one of the loose curls hanging around Merlin’s face. Arthur could just hear what he was saying.

“... seen you around before, are you new in town?”

“No, not quite,” Merlin smiled.

“Are you sure? I think I’d remember seeing someone as beautiful as you around.”

Even though Arthur knew that Merlin was beautiful and knew that everyone else would think so too, that didn’t stop his jaw from clenching and his stomach from twisting tightly from hearing Gwaine say it out loud.

“Maybe you just weren’t looking hard enough, hm?” Merlin teased back, and Arthur felt his heartache. Arthur knew Gwaine was flirting, he always flirts with every pretty girl he sees, but was _Merlin_ flirting back?

Arthur thought back on all those moments he and Merlin had. He loved Merlin- loves- and he thought that perhaps that maybe Merlin felt _something_ for him. Not necessarily love, but something. And to see Merlin flirting with Gwaine, it only confirmed Arthur’s fears; that there was no way Merlin could love Arthur back. She may like men, but more importantly, she liked Gwaine.

Gwaine chuckled. “Your first time in the palace though, right? You looked a bit lost. I can show you all around if you want, perhaps starting with my room?” He said, winking seductively at Merlin.

That was when Arthur drew the line. He stepped towards them and addressed Gwaine before he could hear what Merlin’s response was.

“What are you doing?” Arthur’s voice was colder and harsher than how he usually spoke, but at the moment, he didn’t care. “You’re supposed to be out with the other knights looking for the sorcerer.”

“Whoa,” Gwaine held his hands up in surrender. “I was making my way to the kitchen to grab some lunch for the knights when I ran into this lovely lady. I was just about to leave. Um, Sire.” Gwaine gave a quick bow before scuttling off down the hall.

Arthur turned and stalked down a different hall that led to the courtroom, where his father was having lunch, probably wondering where Arthur was.

Arthur heard Merlin jog to catch up to him and felt her hands on his arm, tugging slightly to get him to stop walking.

“What’s wrong?” She asked.

“Nothing.”

“Nothing? That wasn’t 'nothing', Arthur. Why did you get angry all of a sudden?”

“Don’t worry about it, Merlin.”

“But-”

“ _Merlin_!” Arthur cried angrily as he finally spun to look at her.

At his tone and the anger in his eyes, Merlin instinctively drew her hands away, clutching them to her chest. Her eyes were wide, body tense and looked ready to flee. Her body posture reminded Arthur of a scared, injured animal. She looked scared of _him_. Arthur calmed down some and wanted to apologize then and there, but his mind flitted back to the image of Merlin smiling up at Gwaine and tensed up again.

Turning away, Arthur said “No, Merlin. Just, no,” and walked down the hall and stopped just outside the closed doors to the courtroom. From the corner of his eyes, he could see Merlin standing where he left her, still tucked into herself, arms held close to her chest. Taking a deep breath, Arthur pushed open the doors and stepped inside.

“Ah, there you are, Arthur. I was curious as to if you were going to stay out there with the Knights all day, or if you would come in. It’s good that you’re here, I have some things to discuss with you.”

As Arthur was walking in towards the table, the guard that updated him on the search for the sorcerer was bowing to his father, and turning to leave the room. “Sire,” the guard gave a quick nod as he passed Arthur.

Arthur pulled out the chair to the right of his father and sat down, immediately being served a plate of food and a goblet of wine by a servant standing nearby.

“I understand that you want to be out with the knights and guards, looking for the sorcerer, but I have something else that I need you to take care of. They have enough people out there looking, you would be more useful and helpful in here. Now, King Clarkson is wanting to come to Camelot to discuss a new trade and I have many other things to take care of, so you will be in charge of organizing the welcome banquet, dinners, parties, entertainment, those sort of things. His wife, Queen Marceline will be coming with him, so you will handle everything for the duration of their stay. I will make sure their travels are well and safe, but it’s time you take on some more responsibilities you will have when you are king.”

“Yes, Father. Do you know when they will be coming? I would like to know how much time I have to prepare.”

“They are coming in three weeks and will be staying for one week. I would like it if you could start today, as it’s good to start the planning early. Leaving things for the last minute often-”

“Often means that things get forgotten,” Arthur finished at the same time as Uther. “I understand, Father.”

“Good.”

It was then when Arthur heard the door close softly and glanced over to see that Merlin had just entered the room. She was standing by the door, as per usual, but she was staring at the ground, and if her hair wasn’t in the complicated updo that Morgana and Gwen put it into that morning, her curls would’ve hidden her face, which was probably her goal.

Uther must’ve sensed that something wasn’t quite right, for he asked if there were any issues he was not aware of, or if there were things that Arthur thought were more problematic than he had realized.

“No, it’s nothing new. It’s hardly anything really, I’m just confused and irritated by the sorcerer, and how he hasn’t been found yet.”

“I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again: you can never trust a sorcerer. Or anyone who practices magic, for that matter. They always end up deceiving you, and leave you with more problems than you had before.”

Arthur thought that over during the rest of lunch. He wasn’t exactly sure that that was completely true. Perhaps his father only focuses on the bad, the negative side of magic, never acknowledging or remembering any occasions where magic did more good than harm. For all he knew, someone could’ve used magic to help him or his father, but just hid it out of fear. There certainly were times when Arthur noticed that things didn’t line up properly, but he usually brushed it off until later in the night when he could think about things undisturbed.

Arthur and his father didn’t speak much for the rest of the meal, and soon enough, Uther was excusing himself to continue on with his duties, and Arthur begrudgingly rose from the table to return to his quarters to do the same.

Merlin kept her eyes on the floor as Arthur strode past her, and Arthur knew that he upset her. Arthur wanted to talk to her about it, but he was still hurt, however, and he knew that no good would come out of the conversation. He knew he could end up snapping at her again, even though she’s done no wrongs, and things would be worse. Instead, he decided that it would be best to take some time to calm down properly before seeking her out.

When Arthur reached his room, he collapsed in the chair at his desk and sighed. He sat there for a few moments, enjoying the relaxed quiet before he had to start planning. Arthur was grateful for King Clarkson deciding to come and Uther for deciding that Arthur should take care of this one, giving him the rest of the day to be alone.

The next few hours slipped by quickly as Arthur immersed himself in his work and organizing the King and Queen’s visit was considerably calm considering what has been going on the past few days. Arthur found himself wishing that he had more days like this. Well, the second half, that is. He’d rather not relive the first. Although, he had enjoyed watching Merlin playfully banter with Morgana and Gwen. Alright, so the only part he wishes wouldn’t happen again was just the bit before lunch when Gwaine… nope. Arthur cut off that train of thought before he got worked up again.

Around dinner time, Merlin came in with a tray of food and placed it on the side table at one end of his desk. She didn’t say anything as she went about her chores, and he didn’t say anything to her. Arthur made sure to keep his eyes on the papers in front of him and only when she had her back to him did he allow himself to look up. Arthur had always enjoyed watching Merlin busying about, and today was no different. When she finished them all, she bowed and quietly said “Sire.”

“There’s no need for that, Merlin. Arthur is just fine.”

“Sorry. I thought that you were angry at me so…” she trailed off.

“Merlin, I’m not angry at you. Don’t be ridiculous.” Arthur knew he was being a bit mean, but otherwise, he was sure he’d rant about the whole Gwaine thing, and he didn’t want to go there. He’d talk to her properly tomorrow. He would explain that he wasn’t mad at her. Not that he would say that he was jealous of Gwaine, of course. He’d tell her that he’s just been stressed lately or something like that, which wouldn’t be completely untrue.

“Oh, okay.” She was clearly waiting for him to continue, and when he didn’t she said “Alright. I’ll, um, see you tomorrow,” turned and left.

It wasn’t until later did Arthur realize that he had given Merlin the day off, and yet she came in and did her chores because she thought he was mad at her. Arthur groaned and rubbed a hand across his face. After he talks to her tomorrow, he’ll make sure she takes some time off.

Arthur prepared himself for bed for the first time in a while, while thinking about Merlin, as usual.

A part of Arthur wished that he had been able to go out into the villages, helping to find the sorcerer, to bring Merlin, his Merlin back, but after everything that happened that day he really needed to be away from the knights, Gwaine in particular, and for the first time, Merlin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, I hope you enjoyed this chapter, and if you did please give kudos and / or comments. I love to hear from you all, so please tell me what you liked or what you didn't like, or what you hope to see in the future!


	5. Arthur Is Even More Of A Mess (He Needs Hugs and Love)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry it took so long to get this one up! You guys have been patiently waiting and I can't thank you enough for all the support I've received!
> 
> (Let me know what tags you think I should add!)

Arthur’s heart broke so violently he nearly threw up.

As his eyes flew open, Arthur had been expecting to see Merlin staring at him in disgust. But no, all that filled his vision was that of the canopy hanging over his bed.

Sitting up slowly, Arthur took a few deep breaths, trying with little success to calm his rapidly beating heart. After a few moments, Arthur came to the horrid realization that he was shaking. He wiped the sweat from his brows and wrapped his arms around his cold body. When that didn’t warm him up, Arthur slid back down into his bed and drew up the covers, tightly cocooning himself into his sheets.

After watching the sunrise, Arthur finally felt calm enough to get up and start getting dressed. When his was fully clothed, he sat back down on the edge of his bed and stared out of the window, looking out over Camelot, his beloved home.

Arthur was pulled out of his thoughts to a knock as his door opened. He looked over to see Merlin, standing there in the doorway.

Arthur’s stomach twisted, as he remembered his dream. He could clearly remember seeing her hatred for him and quickly needed to look away before he said something he’d regret. Again. Or worse, start crying.

“Um, hi,” she said nervously, before clearing her throat and drawing herself up to stand tall and walked to his table. “Here’s your breakfast, just the way you like it.” She looked at him with a smile, as if asking for his approval.

It took a moment for him to understand why, but then how he had treated her yesterday flooded to the front of his mind.

Arthur rose from his bed and slowly walked over to the girl. “Look, Merlin,” he started. “What- what I said yesterday- and how I treated you-” he stammered over the words, trying to find the right ones to properly apologize to her.

“Hey,” she put a hand on his arm. “It’s okay.”

Arthur’s mind blanked for a few moments, focused solely on her touch.

He shook his head in an attempt to remember what he’d been saying. “No, no it’s not. I was tired and stressed and, and I took it out on you when I shouldn’t have been. I’m sorry.”

“Are you-?” Merlin cocked an eyebrow at him, grinning cheekily. “Are you apologizing? _You_ , Prince Arthur? Heir to the throne? Did I really hear you say the words ‘I’m sorry’? What happened to your massive ego, huh?”

Arthur rolled his eyes. “Merlin…”

“Let me guess, ‘shut up’?”

“Yes,” Arthur smiled, grateful for the easy banter. “Now you’ve got it!”

Merlin laughed and grabbed her basket, reaching for his clothes he’d left on the floor last night.

“Merlin, I do believe that yesterday I told you to take a few days off, did I not?”

“If I weren’t here to take care of you, I don’t think you’d last that long,” she teased, still going about her chores.

“Merlin, I’m being serious. I can’t even imagine what you’re going through, but I can bet it’s rough and that you're feeling pretty tired, going by the fact that you’re picking up my boots and clean clothes along with the dirty ones.”

Merlin’s head shot down to see that, yes, she had been indeed been putting those in the basket in her arms. “Oh.”

Arthur chuckled and walked over to her, gently taking the basket out of her hands and putting it on the floor. “Merlin, go. At least take today to rest up. Take a nap, read a book, I don’t know, do whatever, and if Gaius asks you to do stuff, tell him I told you to not do any chores for at least twenty four hours.”

Merlin looked up at Arthur and smiled softly, making his heart flutter in his chest. Her blue, blue eyes were warm and content.

“Thank you,” she whispered, still staring into his eyes.

Arthur was frozen. She was so close and gave off such a soft, sleepy feeling that Arthur just wanted to pull her into his arms, close his eyes, and stay like that forever.

The need to kiss her was so strong and had she not turned away at that moment, he doubted that he would’ve been able to hold back any longer.

 _No, no I can’t!_ Arthur mentally slapped himself as he remembered his dream vividly, a sudden cold rushing through his body. _You know it’s a bad idea… No_. Arthur thought sternly to himself. _It was just a dream. She may not feel like that, but it was just a dream_.

Arthur watched as she walked to the door and opened it, turning to smile at him over he shoulder, before walking away, shutting the door behind her.

Arthur stood there for a few minutes, smiling at where Merlin had just left.

Running a hand through his hair and sighing, he turned to the table where his breakfast lay, waiting. Sitting down, Arthur pulled out the papers about their visiting guests, reviewing what he had sorted out yesterday.

The morning went quickly, passing uneventfully as Arthur worked out some more details, making side notes to ask his father about later.

A knock on the door pulled Arthur out of his musings, where he had been having a bit of difficulty figuring out enough meals that fulfilled proper guest standards that also fit within the Queen’s dietary restrictions.

“Come in!”

The door opened to reveal a servant carrying a tray. “Your lunch, Sire,” the girl said politely as she bowed.

“Ah, thank you.”

Taking a bit of a break while enjoying his food, Arthur remembered his dream. 

* * *

 

It had started out normal enough, Merlin laughing as she teased him, something that happened quite a lot in both his nights and days. They were in the field when it started drizzling, and Arthur had pulled his jacket up over his head to protect himself from the rain.

“What? The Prince of Camelot can’t handle a little water? Honestly, Arthur, you act like you’re made of sugar and are going to dissolve any second!” she giggled, shoving at his shoulder.

Arthur tripped over a root that was under his foot, and instinctively, he had grabbed Merlin’s arm to keep himself up, which in hindsight was ridiculous because Merlin was quite smaller and lighter than Arthur, so she came tumbling down on top of him with a shriek.

Merlin landed on top of Arthur and her face was so close and eyes so wide, staring straight into Arthur’s. The blue, blue, blue of her eyes were of the richest blues found only in rare lagoons that he could get lost in for forever. They were so wonderful, interesting and encapturing that Arthur couldn’t look away.

When he could no longer hold back, Arthur pulled Merlin close and kissed her deeply, expressing all his love for her into it. Her lips were so soft against his, and his mind was devoid of all thoughts as it was filled with bright swirling colours and fireworks, sparks flying through him.

Merlin pulled back suddenly, slapping him across the cheek, hard. Arthur brought a hand up to soothe the sharp stinging as a fierce anger took over Merlin’s delicate face, giving it a rough edge he’s never seen before.

“What’s wrong with you?!” She screeched as she scrambled back, climbing off him as quickly as she could.

“What?” Arthur was all he could say, dumbly.

“I’m married to Gwaine!” Merlin stood up, taking a few steps back from him. “Honestly, Arthur, just because you are the Prince, doesn’t give you the right to do whatever you want!” She was shouting at this point.

“But- I didn’t know- I thought- I-” Arthur stuttered, eyes wide, unbelieving of what was happening.

“You thought what?” She demanded, towering over him, making Arthur feel small and insignificant. “You thought that I _liked_ you?! _You_ ?! You’re nothing but a clotpole, a cabbage head, a royal _prat_! You think you are the best there is and will ever be, never give credit to those who deserve it, and bully people around! Unlike Gwaine, who actually cares about others, cares about me! You, you don’t care! And I would never, _never_ like someone like you, much less love and marry someone like you. I never want to see your face again!” She screamed as she turned and ran away from where Arthur was still in a heap on the cold, wet ground.

It was pouring by then, and all Arthur could hear was the venom in Merlin’s voice as she shouted over and over “ _I would never love someone like you_ ”. Squeezing his eyes shut as tears streamed down his face, Arthur curled up on his side and sobbed as he let the rain pound away at his aching body.

 

* * *

Arthur shook his head, clearing away his thoughts as he stared at his now cold lunch. Which, now that he thought about it, remembering his night didn’t really let him enjoy his meal.

Despite the sadness lodged in his chest, Arthur pushed the food aside and picked up his work, hoping to distract himself with the arrangements needing to be made.

Shortly after Arthur started to get stuff done, another knock sounded on his door. “Sire!”

Sighing Arthur got up and walked over pulling open the door. “Yes?”

“The sorcerer’s been found. The King requested that you come down for interrogation. He’s in the town square at the moment.”

“Thank you.” Arthur started to walk down the hallway to the square. He got a few steps before a thought occurred to him. “Has Merlin been informed?”

“Um, I actually don’t know, Sire. I was sent right away to inform you of the situation. I apologized.” The guard bowed his head in submission.

“I’ll go get her, let my father know that we’re on our way.”

“Yes, Sire,” the guard said as he bowed again.

Turning in the opposite direction that led to the courtyard, Arthur walked down the hallway that would lead to Merlin’s room. Well, Gaius’ room, where Merlin staying.

The door to Gaius’ room was open halfway when Arthur arrived, and through it he could see Merlin grabbing two bowls and passing them to her older companion. Arthur knocked and pushed the door open fully, getting their attention before Gaius could dish up their soup.

“Merlin! I have news!” Arthur cried cheerfully.

“Aw, come on, can’t you wait until after lunch?”

Had it been anyone else, Arthur would have gotten irritated, mad even, but it’s Merlin, and Arthur can’t help but smile as he lets out a chuckle.

“Well, I suppose I could, but I figured that you would’ve been happy to know. Jumping out of your seat with excitement. But I guess you’ll just have to wait.”

Narrowing her eyes at him, Merlin asked a suspicious “what?”

“Nothing. I’m surprised you don’t want to know, though.”

“Arthur,” she warned. “What is it?”

“I already told you, nothing!” When she just stared at him, Arthur continued on with a sly smirk. “Just that a guard recently informed me that the sorcerer has been found. But if you’d rather stay here and enjoy your meal, be my guest.”

Merlin jumped up off the bench she was sitting on, staring at him with hopeful eyes.

“Are you serious? You’re not messing with me, are you?”

“What? No! No, I swear, he’s been found. My father is bringing him in for an interrogation. We’ll make sure he turns you back, before he gets executed, don’t worry your pretty head about that.”

A huge smile took over Merlin’s face, lighting up her eyes, and Arthur could see the relief sweep through her.

“Well? What are you waiting for?” Asked Gaius as he pushed Merlin in the direction of the hallway. “Go!”

Laughing, Merlin darted out the door, grabbing Arthur’s arm and dragging him with her.

Leading Merlin through the hallways, they eventually reach the courtyard, seeing Uther and a bunch of the knights near on the opposite side. They quickly jogged over, and Merlin immediately asks “where is he?” as she scans the faces.

Silent and angry from beside Arthur, Uther points to the ground where they finally see a collapsed figure in a heap.

“Is he- is he dead?” Merlin asked in a quiet voice.

“I’m afraid so. I’m sorry.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'M SORRY! PLEASE DON'T KILL ME!
> 
> *hides in corner*
> 
> (but if you liked it, please give kudos and/or comment!)
> 
> (also, poor Arthur :'(


	6. Everyone Is Sad and Tired

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, this is just a quick filler chapter as I try to figure out what happens now, now that the sorcerer is dead
> 
> (Also, I was expecting more of a reaction after the last chapter, what with the nightmare and everything, but no matter, here's bit of fluffy / angst)

Merlin turned and ran, disappearing quickly around a corner.

More worried about her than what was in front of him, Arthur took a step to go after her, but Uther’s hand around his arm stopped him.

“Wait a moment, we still need to discuss what will happen now.”

Sighing in dejection because he knows his father won’t let him go after Merlin until the talk, he asked “Alright, so tell me what happened? I was under the impression that the sorcerer had been captured alive.”

When Uther finally looks at Arthur, he can see the fury in his father’s eyes, but also a sense of satisfaction and triumph. Probably over the fact that sorcerer is dead, therefore Uther won a game only he knew he was playing.

“Percival and I found and arrested him, he was hiding in an alley between an inn and a shop, of course he tried to escape, struggling all the way here,” Leon spoke up from where he was standing between Arthur and Uther. “Once he realized he couldn't get away. He shouted a spell, causing his face to go red as he started choking and fell to the ground. He killed himself so that he couldn’t be executed.”

“Which is stupid, cause he’s dead either way,” Gwaine muttered under his breath.

Although he was still irritated with Gwaine, Arthur made sure to speak in a civilized manner. “Yes, he is dead, but this way it’s on his own terms, and he hadn’t given us any information that we could have gotten out of him, had he still been alive, breathing and able to talk.” Turning to his father, he continued. “What I don't understand is why he didn't use a spell on Percival and Leon. Why he didn’t turn them into frogs or whatever.”

Scowling, Uther growled. “Yes, that is what is annoying me most. Why hadn’t he used a spell, it’s almost like he didn’t want to get away, like he wanted to die…” he trailed off in thought.

“Yes, well, while you’re thinking this over, I’m sure the knights would be delighted to help find the answers. If you don’t mind, I’d like to find Merlin, see how she’s doing.”

Uther flicked his hand dismissively, still puzzled over the sorcerer’s plans.

As Arthur was walking away in the direction Merlin had gone, he could hear his father ordering guards to pick up the body, because ‘we can’t leave it here in the streets, it would get in the way’.

Arthur walked through the doorway, looking left and right, trying to figure out which way Merlin would’ve gone. Turning left, Arthur decided to first check one of the towers that weren’t used very often. Normally Arthur would think that Merlin would take comfort in her room, but it was further than the tower and she would have to face Gaius. Plus, Arthur knew that Merlin liked to hide in high, secluded areas, from the stories she told of when she was younger and would climb trees to get away.

Arthur checked a few locations on the way to the furthest tower, with no sign of Merlin anywhere so far. Arthur sighed, wondering what he could possibly say to her to comfort her. ‘Hey, maybe we can find some other sorcerer who knows what spelled was used and might be able to help reverse if’ didn't seem like a suitable thing to say. _Find another sorcerer and use their help._ Arthur scoffed. As if his father would ever allow it. Uther hasn't been pleased when magic was used to save Arthur's life, and that was after it was done. There was no way Uther would let Arthur get help from magic considering that Merlin's life wasn't in danger that they knew of, and Arthur couldn't even be sure that any magic could help. Perhaps it was an irreversible curse, no cure for this mysterious spell. Perhaps Merlin would have to stay a female forever. Arthur didn't know how he felt about that. Yes, this new version of Merlin was beautiful and Arthur might be able to change some laws to make her his wife and queen, but there was a bit part of Arthur's heart that missed his Merlin. His Merlin who was comfortable in his body and spoke and laughed loudly, poking fun at Arthur, joking with the knights. His Merlin who

Arthur shook his head to clear his thoughts from going further down that road when he noticed that he was at the base of the stairs leading up the last tower.

As Arthur was approaching the top of the stairs that lead straight into the tower lookout, he could hear crying. And not just any crying, heartbroken sobbing.

Pushing open the door, Arthur looked in to see something that he never wanted to see. Merlin was against the wall and the crate of supplies, curled up with her head buried in between her knees, body shaking.

Arthur quietly- but not too quietly because he didn’t want to scare her- walked over and kneeled down in front of her, placing a hand on her shoulder. Merlin’s head shot up and she stared at him for a second, her blue eyes filled with tears, before lunging forward to tuck herself into Arthur’s chest, hands clutched tightly to the front of his shirt.

He wrapped his arms around her and pressed a light kiss on her forehead, before resting his head atop hers.

Arthur had no idea how long he held Merlin before her cries lessened.

Pulling back enough to look at his face, Merlin whispered out a quiet thanks. “Uh, sorry you had to see me like this, um,” she wiped the tears from her face.

“Hey, hey, it’s okay. You needed to cry. You have every right to cry. I understand what you’re going through, well, I don’t _know_ or _understand_ what you’re going through, per say, I just meant, um…”

Merlin let out a wet chuckle. “I think I know what you’re trying to say. And thank you.” She leaned forward and rested her head against his shoulder once more.

Soon, Arthur started getting cold, but he didn’t do anything about it until Merlin started shivering.

Pushing her back slightly, he said: “Hold on, I think there should be something around here to keep warm.”

Looking through the trunk by the cot, Arthur found a few blankets that were there for if a guard or sentry got cold when on the lookout.

“Here we go, let’s get you up on the cot, it’s bound to be more comfortable than the stone floor,” Arthur coxed Merlin up off the floor, gathering her in his arms.

As soon as he put her down, Merlin lay down and curled up, but kept her arms locked around Arthur’s neck, pulling him down on the cot alongside her. Arthur just smiled and draped the blankets over top of the both of them.

Getting comfy, Arthur wrapped an arm around Merlin’s middle, tucking her into him.

Merlin let out a little sigh and nuzzled her face into his chest. Arthur prayed that she couldn’t tell that his heart was beating so wildly he thought for sure that it would beat right out of his chest.

Once she was warmed up some, Merlin rolled over, pressing her back into his chest. Arthur was too sleepy at that point so he just let her wiggle around and move his body in a way that was most comfortable for her. By the time she settled down, Arthur had one leg between hers, was flush against her from their hips to where her shoulders stopped at his chest, one arm under her head and the other one around her waist.

“Are you sure you’re okay like this? Prince of Camelot napping in a cot in some distant watchtower, cuddling with his personal servant?” Merlin asked sleepily.

“Merlin…” Arthur groaned, half asleep.

“Shut up?”

Arthur just let out a yawn as he hummed in agreement, pressing a kiss to her shoulder and letting himself drift off.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading, and as always, if you enjoyed it, please, please please please comment and give kudos if you haven't already!! :) 
> 
> (Constructive criticism is always accepted!)


	7. Everyone is Stressed

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What? Another chapter?? Yes, I do believe so! (First one of 2018! Whoo!)
> 
> Also, ALMOST 10,000 HITS???? WHHHAAAAA???? Omg, I love you guys. Thank you so much for reading my story, I love you all so much, it means so much to have all of your support <3

Arthur woke to someone gently prodding his shoulder.

“Sire?”

Arthur ground his face into the pillow and swatted away the hand. When the poking kept going instantly, Arthur groaned as he blinked slowly and sat up, rubbing his eyes. He frowned as he put a hand on his back, confused as to why it was so stiff. He’d never had problems with his bed before.

“What do you want, Merlin?”

“Uh, Sire? I’m not- um, what?” A voice that was  _ definitely not _ Merlin stuttered.

Arthur blinked a few more times as he looked around and took in his surroundings. He was startled to see that he was  _ not _ in his bed, much less his room. That’s also when he remembered what happened and how he found Merlin up here, comforted her and-

Arthur shook his head to clear his thoughts and looked up at the guard that was standing over him.

“Yes? What do you want?” Arthur spoke in an authoritative tone, as though it was perfectly normal for the crowned prince to be found asleep in the furthest tower asking for his manservant.

“Your father was wondering where you were. You missed dinner with him and he said he was wanting to talk to you about the sorcerer. He checked with Gaius because you had run after Merlin, and when Merlin was there and not you, he started to get worried.”

“Ahh, thank you,” Arthur said as he rose from the cot, wondering why Merlin wouldn’t have told them about where Arthur was? She was here when he fell asleep, so clearly she would’ve known. Perhaps she hadn’t wanted his father to know that they were in a far-off tower with only each other for company, especially now that she was a female.

With his head up and standing tall, Arthur started to walk away before he turned back to the guard and said “Not a word of this to  _ anyone _ . Do you understand?”

“Yes, Sire. Of course, Sire.”

“Good.” Arthur continued on his way, walking down the stairs and across the castle to find his father. 

While Arthur was walking, he looked up to the sky and was surprised to see it so dark. He hadn’t realized that he’d been in that tower for so long. Arthur winced as he thought about what he would tell his father. He decided that he wouldn’t tell him about having a nap with Merlin- his father was sure to lecture Arthur about his responsibilities as the prince, and about proper etiquette and professional relationships when it comes to royalty and servants of any sort.

Arthur had heard that lecture so many times when he was young, as he often referred to some other lower class boys as his friends, which Uther had  _ not _ been pleased with. ‘You can’t be their friends, Arthur, they are not on your level; they serve you with what you need, not to be your playmates.’ Eventually, Arthur had stopped referring to them as his friends around his father, and as they got older, Arthur was always taken off on his own to learn about princes, duties, and other things that the other boys hadn’t been allowed to. Over time Arthur saw less and less of them until it was a rare occasion to see them at all. Once he was old enough, Arthur was thrust back into the streets and told that he should know his people, but whenever he’s run into his old friends, so much had happened since they last talked that it just wasn’t the same. Arthur had to make friends with those closer to him in the kingdom, rather than those he wanted to talk to.

No, he wouldn’t tall his father about being with Merlin. Of course, he would have to tell him about talking to her- he’d run off after her, after all- but he would say that they had departed ways after a bit and that he’d just needed time to think where he wouldn’t be bothered. Yes, that sounded like a good plan.

Arthur found his father in the grand hall, pacing by the windows, ranting at Leon who just stood there, not saying anything. Poor guy. Leon was a good person and friend, he didn’t deserve to be talked at the way Arthur knew Uther was capable of. Arthur made a mental note to apologize to the knight later.

“I just don’t understand where he would’ve gone. I know he’s run off many times before, but this is a serious matter! There are tricky sorcerers out there and who knows how many are plotting against Camelot! Are you sure you have no idea where he is? Why couldn’t you have-”

That’s when he’d turned around and spotted Arthur standing in the doorway.

“Arthur,” Uther growled out. “You’re dismissed, Leon.”

Leon’s eyes were wide- both frightened and with some sympathy- as he passed Arthur as he scurried past him and out the door, closing it behind him.

“Where have you been?!”

Arthur flinched at the powerful anger in Uther’s voice.

“Apologies, Father.”

“I was worried about what could’ve happened to you! We’ve got a mad, now-dead sorcerer in Camelot and you go missing for hours. Hours! You went off after your servant, so I checked with Gaius to see if you were there, but he informed me that Merlin had returned for dinner and that he hadn’t seen you at all today.”

“After I talked to Merlin, I needed to go somewhere where I knew I wouldn’t be found. I needed to figure out the whole sorcerer situation, who he was, what he wanted, why he changed Merlin,  _ how _ he changed Merlin, how to get Merlin back, and how that would affect the Jenkingses if it were still a problem when they arrive. It’s all so confusing. I hadn’t meant to be there so long. I lost track of time. I’m sorry.”

Uther sighed and rubbed his hand across his face the way Arthur knew he did when he’s tired and stressed about something.

“I’m sorry, Father. I hadn’t meant to add to your worries.”

“It’s alright, Arthur. I hope it was at least beneficial to you and not a waste of time. I hope,” Uther gave a cool sideways look at his son.

“Of course it was, Father,” Arthur replied, confidently. He prayed that Uther would accept the answer and wouldn’t ask for more details about his ‘conclusions’.

“Good. I’m glad to hear that you’re figuring out how to take control of the situation.Just, tell someone where you are next time, please. I don’t appreciate having to search the kingdom for my son just because he needed to think.”

“I understand.” Arthur bowed. “It won’t happen again.”

“Good.”

“May I be excused?”

“Yes. I’ll get a servant to bring you food, as you missed dinner.”

“Of course, thank you, Father.”

Arthur bowed again before turning to leave the room.

Well, that went well.

Arthur took his time walking back to his room, stopping by Gaius’ room to find Merlin.

Gaius was examining the dead body of the sorcerer when Arthur arrived, and Merlin was nowhere in sight.

“Hello Gaius,” Arthur said as he stepped into the room.

“Ah, hello, Sire,” the older man stood up from over the body. “You’re father was here not too long ago, asking for you.”

“I know, I just came from him. I’m here to see Merlin.”

“Of course. Merlin’s in her room, but she’s she’s been asleep for a while. Your father had wanted to wake her, but I advised against it, as the change to her body has taken a toll on her, and she needs all the rest she can get. I  _ could _ wake her for you, but again, I don’t think that would be best for her.”

“That’s okay. I’ll let her rest. Thank you, I will be back tomorrow.”

“Of course, Sire.” Gaius bowed and Arthur started to turn to leave but stopped. “I’m assuming you’re trying to find out what you can about the sorcerer. Have you had any luck?"

“I’m afraid not yet, Sire. Magic is a tricky business that sometimes can only be figured out with other magic. Of course, your father isn’t pleased with that.”

“No, I don’t suppose he would.”

“And you, Sire?”

Arthur frowned. “What about me?”

“You said you didn’t think  _ he _ would. I was just curious as to what you thought.”

“Oh!” Arthur was surprised. He wasn’t often asked about what he thought of magic, everyone assuming it was the same as his father. “Well, I don’t particularly trust magic or sorcerers, I mean, look what one’s done to Merlin! But…” he trailed off.

“But?”

“Well,” Arthur paused, not sure if he wanted to say what he wanted to say. “There are times where it seems like magic is more of a tool. Like a sword. Magic itself isn’t evil, it’s those who wield it who are.”

“A wise statement, Sire. Let’s hope that we can get Merlin back without the use of other magic, for I don’t think your father would let us, otherwise.”

“Here’s to that.”

Gaius nodded and turned back to the dead body.

“And Gaius? Thank you,” Arthur said with a smile before he left the room and continued on his way to his own chambers.

That would explain why Merlin didn’t tell anyone as to where Arthur was. She couldn’t tell anyone if she was asleep the whole time. Arthur frowned as he wondered how long she had slept with him and when she had left him up there by himself.

A small part of Arthur was sad that she had left him. He had briefly wished that he would be able to wake with her in his arms. It happened so many times in his dreams, and he wished that it could’ve been his reality, even for a few minutes.

Arthur squished that thought process before it could go further. Merlin didn’t- couldn’t want him like that. Merlin thought that he was an annoying, arrogant prince- she’d told him so many times. He just didn’t understand why she would put up with him if she didn’t like him so much. Well, it was her job to put up with him, but Arthur had never had a servant like her before. And even if she didn’t mind him so much as her boss, prince, or person in general, that didn’t mean that he would be romantically interested in him.

Arthur had pondered about it all the way to his room, where he found his dinner on the table in the center of the room.

Arthur sat down and just looked at his food for a few minutes before picking up the fork. He was too lost in thought to appreciate his dinner in front of him, just shoving it into his mouth.

Arthur had made up what he was ‘thinking about’ on the spot when talking to his father, but now the thoughts stick with him, and Arthur kept turning them over and over in his head.

He really hoped the sorcerer mess would be solved before their visitors arrived. The last thing they needed was chaos when trying to give a good impression for the possibility of a new trade. Arthur hoped that a solution to turn Merlin back would arise before then, both for her sake (he knew Merlin wanted her old  _ male _ body back) and for the Jenkingses. Arthur had no doubt that they would question the Prince having a female personal servant, and he didn’t know how he would explain it. Uther wouldn’t be quick to show off that they had a sorcerer problem that Uther  _ couldn’t _ solve.

Suddenly Arthur got a mouthful of no food, he looked down in surprise to see that he ate his dinner without even noticing.

Arthur sighed and pushed his chair away from the table, wiping his mouth as he stood up. Quickly and quietly, Arthur changed out of his clothes and climbed into bed.

There was a lot of tossing and turning as Arthur couldn’t sleep due to his impromptu nap earlier in the day.

After an hour of staring at the ceiling while lying awake and wondering what in the world he was going to do, Arthur finally slipped into a fitful sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you like what you've read so far, please give kudos if you haven't already, and comment, even if you have already (I live for comments, not gonna lie (keep 'em commin' boys! (and girls and non-binary folks)))  
> Please give kudos cause we're almost at 420, baby!!! Blaze it!
> 
> If there are tags that you think should be tagged, let me know so that I can tag the tags ;)
> 
> (Sorry for the overenthusiasm, I'm on a sugar rush. Hello, Easter just passed!)  
> (Also I'm procrastinating)

**Author's Note:**

> If you liked it please give kudos or comment! Please!


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